We have all been in this situation. The shit has hit the fan. Our lives, personal and professional, are spiralling out of control. We feel little or no motivation to make it work.
We may say that it is sudden and unfair. But sometimes, the truth is some of these incidents are predictable. We knew it was coming and either didn’t take note of it or didn’t take it seriously. All of a sudden, it’s too late.
So you’re at rock bottom. What next?
Well, it’s not the end of the world.
You need to understand what you got you there and figure out the actions that will prevent those things from happening again.
Here are some things you can do:
1. Take a break: Unplug and take some time off even under the most stressful of situations, to internalize and view the situation from afar. This gives you better perspective.
2. Identify the right problem statement: We always cure symptoms, not problems. For e.g., the extra-marital affair may only be a symptom, not the problem. The real, underlying problem could be the loss of connection between the couple. This is what may have resulted in the extra-marital affair. When the main problem is identified and addressed, things start to slowly fall in place.
3. Prioritize what needs to be fixed first: In a crisis, always remember the 20% of the activities that bring you 80% of the overall impact. Get down to those things first.
4. Seek support: Get the help of a friend, family member, colleague or a coach to ensure you understand, ensure and triumph over the situation.
5. Work on all things that need to be fixed before you slip into despondency, or pretend like the storm has passed.
Now that you are in the clear, the next thing to do is to put your house in order to ensure the same situation does not happen again.
You cannot continue your bullshit and also crave growth. You have to give up one of them. Decide you want to give up your bullshit. Here’s how:
1. Know your priorities. Never compromise on the most important priorities.
2. If you have to drop a ball, you need to know which one to drop: the one that has the least impact on your well-being.
3. Create a process that you will follow to ensure a smooth workflow, in life and at work.
4. Have check points for all important aspects of life. You need to recognize when things are going off gear, so you can take corrective action.
5. Don’t wait for too long to correct something you know is slipping.
6. Have a plan to rebuild what is broken.
7. Have support in place. If you have no support, seek support.
8. Learn from your mistakes. Humans have a short memory. Remind yourself how you screwed up and how miserable you felt from time to time – so you never want to go back there again.
About the Author:
Sandhya Reddy is a leadership & transformation coach based in Bangalore, India. She is the Founder and Principal Coach at Chapter Two Coaching, a coaching consultancy that enables everyone from CEOs to work-from-home parents to achieve their goals by replacing self-imposed limitations with enabling stories.
Many of us in our thirties experience a disquieting realization: what brought us to middle-management may not take us to senior-management. This is true. To chart a new career path, one needs to think and do things differently. This is where Sandhya can help. She is a coach. Life coaching, executive coaching, business coaching, personality development, leadership coaching… they are all part of her forte. Her Executive coaching programs helps tomorrow’s leaders set new goals, make new plans to achieve those goals, get that elusive promotion through a blend of knowledge, action and image-building, enhance influence among the leadership team, be more productive, get more out of one’s team, and be known in the company as an indispensable performer and future leader.